Come On Get Happy
by hklbry
Summary: Ianto finds something in the Archives that makes him happy…and other things.  Early S2, Jack/Ianto  not graphic  Owen/Ianto friendship ish
1. Chapter 1

**Come On Get Happy**

A/N: This takes place early S2. It uses an item from the Doctor Who episode "Grid Locked". Originally this was two separate stories, one light and one dark, but both using that plot device. Then the dark began to creep into the lighter story. I decided to combine the two stories (into a surprisingly short 3 chapters!) so I apologize in advance for the contrasting tones. I've left room for the possibility of a really dark sequel.

I was going to wait to post this, but I'm feeling a bit sad so decided I could use some Happy myself!

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><p><strong>Chapter 1<strong>

"…which is why I need you to go with me to the Monkey Bar tonight," Owen said wrapping up his story. "I need a wing man."

Ianto raised a skeptical eyebrow. He was sure Owen knew he enjoyed Owen's stories about going out more than actually going out.

"It's not really my thing," Ianto smiled and pulled down another box from its home on the Archive shelf.

"Come on," Owen whined. "You'd be great at it!"

"Maybe," Ianto conceded knowing he would be good at it, "but what about Jack?"

"No," Owen said shaking his head. "Jack is rubbish at being a wing man. I need you to help me separate my target from the herd. Jack would simply try to wrangle the entire herd. And," he added as an afterthought, "he would probably succeed. That would leave me with even worse odds."

That, Ianto thought hoping it didn't show on his face, wasn't what I meant.

"Besides, you owe me!"

"Owe you," Ianto repeated incredulously. "Since when and for what could I possibly 'owe you'?"

"Well, I'm helping you in the Archives, aren't I? This isn't exactly in my job description!"

"Jack ordered you to help me go through these boxes," Ianto reminded him. "If some lazy bastard hadn't just labeled these 'Medical Stuff' I wouldn't need your help."

"I only put that on one and I thought that was procedure," Owen retorted. Ianto snorted.

"Yes, because some other lazy bastard labeled boxes 'Medical – Various' and based on the handwriting I'd say that particular bastard was one Captain Jack Harkness. Trust me. Never let him lead by example." Ianto set the box on a table. "Based on the amount of dust on the lid and the way he made his 'M', I'm guessing this box was put here circa 1950."

"I've been down here all day! That should earn me a favor," Owen insisted.

"It's only 10. You've been here less than an hour."

"Yeah, but we've already made it through two boxes. Come on! You, me, Cardiff skanks – it'll be fun!"

"As much as I would love to do you a favor," Ianto said clearly indicating he wouldn't, "Jack might need me."

"Ianto, mate, Jack wanting to bend you over his desk hardly constitutes him needing you," Owen said crossing his arms on his chest.

"He asked me on a date," Ianto defended.

"But you haven't gone on one! And I'm not asking you to sleep with anyone. I just need you to be the friendly, safe guy to hang out with her friends while I whisk a young lovely off for a private consultation." Owen smiled. "That's what being a friend is all about."

"Let's just work on identifying these items and I'll think about it," Ianto said. "You never know. The next item might cure cancer or aging then you'll be so famous you won't need complicated strategies to get laid."

The next item did not hold the cure for cancer, but Owen was fairly sure it would take the temperature of a Reptilian race anally. Ianto took a picture, tagged it, and added it to his database. The only other item in the box had no documentation beyond a wrinkled note that read 'found in field 4 May, 1950'. Owen's eyes lit up and he agreed to run some test on it. He wasn't as excitable as Tosh about alien gadgets, but he had found a few medical items that had been useful. Ianto was sure Owen wasn't about to admit to the thrill of discovery. It would ruin his reputation.

Lunch was interrupted by a Rift spike that hadn't appeared on the predictions. Ianto stayed behind. Around 5 the team returned in high spirits.

"I take it you didn't find anything gooey, smelly, or vicious then," Ianto said helping Jack off with his coat.

"Couldn't find a thing. Well, couldn't find anything from the Rift," Jack corrected. "I did find a lovely dinner companion for tonight."

"That's something," Ianto replied determined to not let his disappointment be heard. It wasn't the first time Jack had gone out with someone else since his return from the Doctor, but every time seemed to hurt a little bit more. Ianto understood logically, even though he didn't know the specifics, that Jack had suffered horribly for an entire year while away and deserved to have a little fun now. He just wanted to be the one Jack had fun with.

"Well," Ianto said smiling too broadly, "I'd better get back to the Archives. We're making good progress with the improperly labeled medical boxes and I'd hate to break the momentum."

Jack smiled back, equally too broadly, and returned to his desk.

"So," Owen said a few minutes later, "seeing as our beloved leader won't be needing you tonight…"

"I really don't feel like going out," Ianto interrupted.

He pulled the lid off another box and tossed it on the table. Owen was disappointed there wasn't an accompanying puff of dust and then was slightly disturbed to realize the dust was so thick it could no longer puff.

"Here's a useful note," Ianto said holding up an aged piece of paper. "'Moods' with a big question mark and in the handwriting of Captain Harkness 'Sticky' and something even I can't decipher." Ianto handed the paper to Owen who studied it then shook his head. Ianto pulled what looked like a large, clear plastic shoebox out of the cardboard box. The lid had a picture of a unisex humanoid face with a blank expression in one panel and that same face in a second panel only smiling with a circle on its neck.

Owen shrugged. Normally Ianto would have set the box aside for future investigation, but something about the smile on the face spoke to his distracted mind. Looking closer, the face seemed more relaxed and the eyes more peaceful. Forgetting about his own rule to never open alien boxes found in the Archives, Ianto opened the plastic lid and he and Owen peered inside. Three rows of plastic cards separated and indexed what looked like small pieces of paper. Owen and Ianto shared a befuddled look.

"Forget, Funny, Sexy, Sleep, Honest, Happy, Awake, Arouse," Ianto read while flipping through the plastic cards.

"You could use a bit of Happy," Owen said pulling out a piece of paper in front of the card. "Happy 12," he read. He examined the paper and realized it was on backing paper. "It's a sticker," he announced. He could see the word 'Happy' inside a yellow circle inside an orange circle with a number '12' in a smaller font. He pulled off the sticker and slapped the clear object on Ianto's neck like the face in the second panel.

"Owen!" Ianto slapped a hand to his neck and was going to pull the adhesive away, but a sudden wave of, for lack of a better explanation, happy hit him. He smiled at Owen. "Thanks! I feel much better!"

"Cut it out," Owen said punching Ianto's shoulder. "They're just stickers!"

"But I really do feel happier! I actually don't think I've felt this happy in a long time," Ianto said not worried and only mildly confused by his lack of anxiety.

"Of course you do! Stickers are supposed to make people happy! Soppy birds wouldn't buy them and put them on envelopes if they didn't believe they would make someone happy! Another box – sorted. This isn't medical. It's arts and crafts. So, I'm gonna head out. Why don't you slap on Sexy 20 and meet me at the Monkey Bar around 10," Owen asked handing a sticker with a black and red quarter moon looking symbol and 'Sexy 20' written on it to Ianto. Ianto smiled.

"I think I might just do that." Owen was too pleased with Ianto's dramatic change of plans to note his dramatic change in mood.

Owen had only been at the club for a few moments, but he'd already picked out his target. Unfortunately, he noted, she was with two friends. Even if Ianto didn't change his mind again and did show up, Owen wasn't convinced he would be able to distract two ladies while Owen swooped in on the third.

"Hello," Ianto said elongating the syllables.

Owen turned glad that he at least had someone to drink with even if it didn't work out with the girl. Looking at Ianto and then at himself, he realized he should have given Ianto some tips on being a wing man. Owen wasn't sure what he expected, but it wasn't Ianto in tight black jeans, a crisp, white button down, and a grey waistcoat with a red satin back.

"Aren't you dressed for the prowl," Owen said trying not to look at the amount of chest Ianto was uncharacteristically showing.

"I took your advice," Ianto said turning his head and pulling his collar unnecessarily away from his neck and showing even more skin. Owen laughed at the Sexy 20 sticker.

"And the sticker suggested you wear that? You're supposed to be a diversion, not a distraction," Owen said still chuckling. "Let me guess. That little plaster makes you feel sexy?"

"Oh yes," Ianto said nodding. "I feel…desirable." Ianto ordered a beer and winked at the barmaid. Owen narrowed his eyes. Maybe there was something with the stickers, he briefly thought before negating the idea to absurd.

"Right, well, I've got my eye on the red head by the window," Owen said subtly gesturing with his head in her direction.

"Wow," Ianto began, "there are some really attractive women here."

"Who knows," Owen said. "Maybe one of her friends will like you and we can both get some strange tonight. Or are you only into men now?" Owen had wanted to ask that for a long time, but he'd never had the nerve before. He knew how much Ianto guarded his privacy and it was hardly a secret his sexuality was one of the forbidden topics.

"Oh no," Ianto replied casually without a hint of embarrassment or annoyance. "I'm not gay. I like women and I like Jack. Non-Jack men just don't do it for me. Sometimes I think it's a chemical thing, but since he came back I think it's a mental one, you know? Actually," Ianto said smirking, "it's a damn inconvenient thing! That's what it is! I have all these _feelings_ and things for him, but I'm only an outlet for his sexual energy, if that. You don't really want to hear this." Ianto accepted his drink from the barmaid and gave her a large tip and another large smile.

"No, go ahead and get it off your chest," Owen said trying to sound bored. In reality, as much as he claimed to not like Ianto or care about the team outside of work he was dying of curiosity at Ianto and Jack's relationship. He always wanted to ask what a nice, young, straight Welshman was doing with an intergalactic playboy. If he was honest with himself, he was more curious as to what Ianto got out of it.

"Before Jack left, he didn't want to make the effort to go out and find somebody. I was a convenient partner. Whenever he wanted it, and you'd be scandalized, Dr. Harper, at how often he wanted it, I was there to provide. Now, he wants to go out and live. I think he feels obligated to continue having sex with me because I was there for him when he needed it. Maybe he sees it as a thank you for my prior loyalty. Hell, he might think bending me over his desk, as you put it, will help guarantee my continued allegiance and service. He might just like to keep me on the back burner in case he needs something convenient again."

Ianto took a long drink from his beer bottle and Owen easily imagined Jack leering at the sight. Owen wasn't into blokes as a rule, but he wasn't above appreciating the view and he had to admit Ianto was as beautiful as Jack was handsome. He realized with a start that Ianto was just as sexy as Jack, but in a completely opposite way.

"My point is," Ianto said after his long pause, "I've known all of this, but still let my feelings get in the way. Do you know Jack's the only person I've had sex with since Canary Wharf?" Ianto scoffed and took another long drink. "Where is he tonight when I need him? Where has he ever been when I needed him? No, Owen, it's time I accept things for what they are and stop waiting for him to see _me_. I'm starting by taking a page out of your rulebook. Let's go talk to those ladies."

Ianto took two steps and Owen grabbed his arm.

"It's too early," Owen explained. "They've probably only had one drink."

"Then let's buy them another round," Ianto suggested.

"You really are awful at this, aren't you," Owen said with a sigh. "First you let them get a good buzz going. Then we'll move a little closer to their table. We'll let them get used to a couple of blokes having a drink near them. You don't want to startle them!"

"They aren't pheasants, Owen," Ianto deadpanned.

"A bird's a bird," Owen responded. "Once they realize we aren't going to hit on them, we'll make some excuse to talk to them. We'll subtly move to their table. You'll talk to the brunette and the dirty blonde about their shoes or something and I'll make my move on the redhead." Owen smiled at his plan.

"Or," Ianto said, "I could go over now before the place gets any more crowded and ask them if we can buy them some drinks."

Ianto sidestepped Owen and approached the table. Owen groaned and started looking for his next target. Moments later Owen was trying to decide on the girl in the purple capris or the one with the pierced cheek when Ianto grabbed his elbow.

"Help me carry the drinks to the table," Ianto said with a smirk. Owen shrugged, picked up two of the drinks, and decided Ianto might not be as bad at this as he thought.


	2. Chapter 2

**Come On Get Happy**

**Chapter 2**

Owen couldn't remember the last time he'd gone out, got laid, and come into the Hub the next morning without a hangover. The fact that he had Ianto to thank for it seemed surreal. As if thinking about the man somehow conjured him, Ianto came jogging to meet him then pulled him aside roughly.

"Owen! Do you know what happened last night," he whispered with large anxious eyes.

"Well I don't know what happened after me and the cute redhead left, but I'm expecting all the details," Owen said trying not to laugh at Ianto's buyer's remorse. "Based on your level of anxiety, I'm guessing you went home with the brunette with glasses, right? I could tell she was a little off. Bet she was into all kinds of kink!" He elbowed Ianto and winked. Ianto shook his head.

"I went home…" Ianto looked around to make sure nobody was within earshot before he continued in a harsh whisper, "…with them." He hissed the last word.

"Them," Owen asked wanting clarification and details.

"Both of _them_! And, yes, the brunette with the glasses, Barbara, is almost as inventive as Jack." He shook his head. "I can't believe I let you talk me into going out!"

"Woah," Owen said holding his hands up in front of him and refusing to whisper. "You wanted to come! Clearly you needed to come if you managed to bag both girls! Cor! Your first time out in ages and you have a once in a life experience! Orgy for teaboy," Owen whooped and held out a hand for a high five.

"I hadn't done that since university," Ianto lamented. Owen filed that off the cuff remark for later interrogation.

"And the reason you're upset is…." Owen trailed off. "This isn't because of Jack, is it?"

"Did I hear my name," Jack said catching both men off guard. "Sorry to startle you," Jack said coming closer and putting one hand on each man's shoulder and giving them a reassuring squeeze. "When I saw you two having a quiet word I had to find out what it was about."

"Nothing," Ianto said as his face burned hotly. "We went out for a drink last night."

"Did you pull," Jack said leering at Owen. "You did, you dirty dog! I did pretty well myself."

"It was a night for romance all around," Owen said smiling.

Owen looked at Ianto who glared back at him. Jack's grip on their shoulders tightened. Owen looked at Jack and was surprised to see the tightening of his jaw and the searching look in his eyes as the man stared at Ianto. The human side of Owen realized Jack was unexpectedly in fear of what Ianto had been up to. The brotherly side was afraid Ianto couldn't see Jack's reaction for what it was and worried Ianto would feel guilty. Both were overpowered by his impish side that couldn't keep from stirring the pot.

"You should have seen Jones, here! I thought he'd be my wingman, but he swooped in and snagged two, count 'em two, birds for himself!" Owen cringed as Jack's grip tightened painfully. He shrugged out of his hold. "He put us both to shame, Jack," Owen continued now for the pleasure of seeing Jack losing it. "I was about to get the details. I bet they were fighting over you!"

"Yeah, Ianto," Jack said with a large fake smile plastered on his face, "tell us all about it."

"I'm so glad you are both amused," Ianto said with a scowl. He stormed off towards the Archives.

"I don't think you should ask Ianto to go out again," Jack said menacingly. Owen was about to object when he saw the cool fire in Jack's eyes.

"Yeah, probably not a good idea," Owen agreed before quickly retreating to the Autopsy Bay. He turned as he walked to add, "I don't need the competition!"

In the Archives, Ianto slumped into his chair then leaned forward and let his head hit his desk. He hadn't intended on having a three way with two strangers and he certainly hadn't intended on ever telling Jack. Never ever. He sat up a little and drummed his fingers anxiously on the plastic box on his desk. Was Jack angry? His body language seemed tense, but then again, Jack asked for details. He couldn't be angry and looking for more information. Maybe he was angry because Owen was hearing about it first. That seemed more likely.

Ianto wasn't sure if that was better or worse. Was it better for Jack to be angry Ianto had sex with someone else or worse to know he cared so little he didn't mind the idea of sharing. Ianto decided his ridiculous attachment to Jack was more to do with his overdeveloped romantic tendencies than any real emotions. His stomach began churning and his hands were shaking.

I need to calm down before I give myself a panic attack, Ianto thought. He looked at the peaceful face on the box framed by his hands. Owen said they were just stickers, but he had felt different. Maybe it was psychosomatic, a kind of placebo effect. Ianto flipped the lid open with a casualness he didn't feel. He flipped through the tabs feeling a little guilty. He knew he shouldn't be using these regardless. There were rules about using alien tech even if it was all in his head.

He flipped to a tab labeled 'Calm'. There were several denominations of stickers. There seemed to be quite a few 'Calm 30' with what looked like a lilac colored wave. He turned the innocuous piece of paper over several times until he thought the backing paper was coming loose. Well, Ianto thought, if it's already off the paper…

"Ianto," Gwen said anxiously a half hour later.

Ianto was sitting at his computer proofing a file he'd recently digitized. Even with alien technology he found OCR software made mistakes. He turned slowly in his chair to face her.

"Yes, Gwen," he asked with a small smile on his face.

"I had a little accident with one of those globe things…," Gwen trailed off sheepishly.

Ianto knew exactly the globes she meant. They felt like water balloons, but instead of water the strange bags were filled with radiation eating goo. They were completely harmless. In fact, if they would come in handy if they ever had theta band radiation that needed disposal. On the other hand, since they felt similar to water balloons, Owen found them irresistible to throw. The thick goo would quickly spread out and was a tenacious opponent to clean. Ianto had banned Owen from even looking at them.

"An accident? I hope you're okay," Ianto said with a kind of peaceful tone that gave Gwen the creeps.

"Er…yeah, I'm fine, but that stuff kind of…well…it's kind of all over Autopsy. See," she quickly added, "Owen was being a jerk and I…"

Ianto held up his hands and shook his head.

"Not a problem," he said standing slowly. "These things happen. There's no reason to get worked up about it. I'll go clean it up." He smiled placidly and walked towards the main area of the Hub.

Gwen watched him walk away wide eyed. Ianto was under alien influence, he'd finally flipped, or he was having a laugh. She hurried after him.

Ianto examined the mess in the Autopsy area. The radiation eating goo was on the wall, a shelf, the floor, and even the autopsy table. He passively noted the goo was dripping from one of the chains that worked as railings. I'll need to get something to clean out the links, he thought adding to his mental list of cleaning items.

"It wasn't me!" Ianto slowly turned to face Owen. "It was all Cooper! Lucky for me she throws like a girl!" Ianto nodded.

"Good. This might take a while," Ianto said neutrally. He walked off and headed to the nearest utility closet leaving a very puzzled medic in his wake.

"Jack," Gwen said entering Jack's office.

"Oh no," Jack said standing up and walking around his desk. "You made the mess! If Ianto says you have to clean it up, it's all you!"

"No," Gwen said. "He didn't say anything. He didn't even get that little eyebrow twitch he gets when he's trying not to show how mad he is."

"Huh," Jack said puzzled. "I guess you get the benefit of his good night out."

"Jack," Owen said stepping around Gwen into Jack's office.

"Ah! Let me guess! Instead of yelling at Gwen, Ianto assumed she was covering for you and blasted you for that mess," Jack said clapping his hands together. "Well, I sympathize. An irate Ianto is a very frightening thing, but you brought it on yourself with your lack of self-control before. I suggest you and Gwen go clean up the mess yourselves. It won't be up to Ianto standards, but he might be moved enough by your attempt to forgive you."

"He's not mad."

"No, he's just very disappointed in you," Jack said thinking of how Ianto could say those words with such a world weariness that even he had been brought to task by them.

"Uh, no, he's not even that. There's something wrong with him," Owen said concerned. "It's like he doesn't mind."

"That's what I'm trying to tell you, Jack," Gwen interrupted. "Something's not right with him."

Jack's curiosity was piqued. While he didn't want to think something was wrong with Ianto, Jack thought that would explain him going on the pull with Owen. His ego was momentarily relieved before his brain kicked into gear and he realized his Ianto was at risk.

"Maybe he's lost it," Owen said. Jack glared at him. "What? We all know he's wound too tight. I should have spotted it last night. He was relaxed and un-Ianto-y, admitting he has feelings for you then buying drinks for those girls. He didn't even flinch when this tart started rubbing on him."

"He admitted that," Jack asked smiling.

"Yeah, but don't worry. He knows his place. He's finally accepted he's just your bit on the side. Maybe that's what pushed him over the edge," Owen speculated.

"Oh poor Ianto," Gwen said sympathetically. "It's that deep passion of his!" She slapped Jack's arm. "Did you break up with him? I bet you were completely insensitive about it! Poor lamb!"

"He didn't break up with him," Owen interjected before Jack could say anything. "He's just been phasing him out. Slowly. Honestly, Jack, you should have just ended it. It would have hurt him, but he would have gotten over it."

"That's cruel, Jack," Gwen said then hit his arm again.

"I didn't do anything!" Jack looked between the two unbelieving faces.

"Jack," Toshiko said from Jack's doorway. "I think something's wrong with Ianto."

"Jack's finally broke him," Gwen said shaking her head. Tosh's eyes widened then narrowed accusatorily at Jack.

"Yep," Owen said putting a hand on Tosh's shoulder. "Jack doesn't take good care of his toys. Teaboy's been tossed aside, forgotten…"

"Poor poppet," Gwen added.

"Stop," Jack exclaimed. "We don't know anything except you three think he's too relaxed!"

"He's tranquil," Tosh said. "I've seen him relaxed, but never at peace. Whatever you did to him…"

"Let's figure out what's going on before you start threatening me," Jack said. He tried not to worry, but Jack couldn't help the gut feeling that something was wrong. He hoped it was simply an alien problem and not something he was responsible for.

He


	3. Chapter 3

**Come On Get Happy**

**Chapter 3**

Jack walked towards the Autopsy bay and the team followed him. The four of them stood overlooking the goop covered area. Jack couldn't help but smile at Ianto wearing cleaning gloves, a spare lab coat, a rubber apron, and goggles.

"That's quite a mess," Jack called down. Ianto looked up and Jack noticed he had a tiny smile on his lips.

"It is, but it should only take a few hours. It could be worse. At least nobody was injured." Ianto smiled a little wider and went back to scraping goo off the wall and into a bucket.

Jack exchanged looks with his team. They all silently acknowledged the out of character response.

"Did you get that stuff on your shoes? I hope that doesn't stain," Jack said waiting for Ianto's reaction.

"Yes and yes, it will. Shame, really. I only bought these last week." Ianto made a 'hmmph' sound and went back to scraping.

Jack held up a hand to the others and smiled.

"I'm afraid I have some bad news, Ianto." Ianto turned and looked up at Jack again. Ianto lifted his goggles unto his forehead and Jack noticed the peaceful eyes the others had mentioned. They looked alien on Ianto's face which seemed too relaxed. The only time Jack saw Ianto's facial muscles that relaxed was in bed post-orgasm or pre-nightmare.

"Yes, sir?" Even Ianto's voice seemed without affect.

"I didn't want to bother you earlier so I tried to make my own coffee. I'm pretty sure I broke the machine." There was a small twitch to Ianto's eyebrow, but no other sign.

"Then I tried to help," Tosh added. "I jumped when I heard the globe explode and spilled that bag of coffee you brought in this morning." Another twitch and a long blink proved Ianto wasn't completely unaffected.

"It's okay. Just leave it and I'll fix it when I'm done." Ianto started to turn away.

"Actually," Owen began, "I thought I could fix it without you finding out. I accidentally broke off that handle thing. It must have been poor quality because the metal just snapped!" Ianto took a stuttered breath.

"I'll help you with it, sweetheart," Gwen said. "Or I could finish up for you in the Archives."

"Good idea," Jack announced. "You could make a lot of headway while Ianto's cleaning and fixing. Maybe you could come up with some ideas for a new system. Clearly Ianto's plan isn't working out or he'd have the Archives in order by now."

"Well, I do have a few thoughts," Gwen began.

"No," Ianto said. "Stay out of the kitchen and the Archives. I'm sure you all have other things to do than stare at me cleaning."

"Not really."

"Nope."

"Kind of slow."

"I could really use a coffee, though," Jack said.

"Ugh," Ianto exclaimed. He tossed his goggles down, pulled off his gloves, and threw them at the floor. "I knew it couldn't last. So much for Calm bloody 30!" Ianto pulled the sticker off his neck. He looked around at the goo covered room. "All of you, get out my sight before I forget it's treason to shoot my co-workers! Christ, you're like feral children raised on lead paint chips!" He yelled something in Welsh and Gwen's eyes went wider.

"Ianto," Jack yelled. Ianto shot a glare at him that made his blood turn cold in his suddenly unbeating heart. Jack wasn't going to admit to being terrified by that look. "We were lying about the coffee machine. It's fine. Nobody touched it."

"Or the coffee," Tosh added.

"You were acting strange. We were trying to find out what was wrong with you," Gwen said.

"You've got to admit," Owen began, "you were way too calm about the goo."

"It was the placebo effect," Ianto said dejectedly. He held up the sticker to Owen. "Calm 30 and I convinced myself I was calm. It was nice while it lasted."

"Woah," Jack said. "Did you find those in the Archives?"

"Yeah, they were in a one of those medical junk boxes," Owen said. "They're strange little stickers, but Teaboy likes 'em. It must be a subliminal thing or something. Last night he thought Sexy 20 made him feel hot."

"I did feel desirable," Ianto began defensively, but finished bashfully. "And Happy 12 made me happy and Calm 30 kept me from having a panic attack. It might all be in my head, but they work!"

"Of course they 'work'," Jack said. "They're Moods!" Everyone looked at him blankly. "They're from the future. You go up to your friendly neighborhood pharmacist/drug dealer and you say 'I want to sleep for 8 hours' or 'I want to feel happy' or 'I want to forget my problems' and they give you one of these stickers with the mood or action on it and the dosage. These are very dangerous and addictive! How long have you been using them?"

Ianto didn't appreciate Jack yelling at him. He wished he could give Jack a dose of 'Shut the hell up 50'.

"Just those 3 – happy, sexy, and calm," he explained dismissively. "If they were dangerous, I don't think someone would throw them in a box without marking it so."

"Well somebody screwed up," Jack yelled. Owen coughed. Jack glared at him.

"You wrote the note in the box," Owen said quietly.

"I happen to remember," Jack said defiantly, "Joseph Eggleton asking me about them and I told him the street name was Moods. Then I looked at the box and realized it was a sizable stock of what they call Stickies. I wrote a note to destroy them."

"You wrote a note that can't be read," Ianto replied. "It doesn't even look like letters."

"Show me where they are and I'll destroy them," Jack said choosing to ignore his comment.

"Fine," Ianto said stomping up the Autopsy stairs. At the top, he slipped his shoes off and took off the apron and lab coat. Jack struggled to remember he was mad at him for breaking protocol and tried not to think of him as adorable. It was difficult for him as he found an angry Ianto very arousing.

In his socks, Ianto led Jack to his desk in the Archives. The team, curious, followed. At his desk, Ianto handed the note from the box to Jack.

"And what does that say?"

"It says 'Moods?' in Eggleton's handwriting and then I've clearly written 'Sticky – Dangerous brain altering drugs from the future. Destroy'," Jack said triumphantly.

"No it doesn't," Owen said snatching the note from Jack. "I looked at it yesterday. Can you read that?" He handed the note to Tosh.

"No," she said. Gwen looked over her shoulder and squinted trying to make the squiggle turn into words.

"Maybe I didn't write it in English." Jack threw his hands in the air. "I was in a hurry! Trust me. The majority of the universe can read that language just fine." There were multiple groans.

"Am I going to get sick," Ianto asked. "You said they are dangerous."

"You should be fine," Jack said. "Think of it as taking somebody else's prescription. Consider yourself lucky."

"You said they were addictive," Gwen said.

"Yeah, who wouldn't want to keep feeling happy or have a shortcut to instant tranquility? Some things about humans never change," Jack explained. "Okay, Gwen, Owen, I think you two should work on cleaning up the mess in Autopsy. Tosh, you have that report you're dragging on for UNIT to work on. I need a word with Mr. Jones."

Gwen and Tosh gave Ianto sympathetic looks as they walked out. Owen lingered a behind.

"It wasn't his fault," Owen said. "I should have…"

"Out," Jack yelled. "We'll discuss what you should have done later." Owen nodded without looking up and left.

"I expect better from you, Ianto," Jack said with a sigh dropping into Ianto's chair.

"I'm sorry," Ianto replied slumping against his desk. "We were joking around and Owen slapped the happy sticker on my neck. We thought they were just stickers!"

"Setting aside the breach of artifact handling protocols, once he put it on you, you knew it wasn't just a sticker," Jack said patiently. Ianto would have preferred him shouting.

"I told him I felt a wave of happiness, but I figured it was in my head. Part of me thought it was something more, but it felt good."

"Why did you need Happy?" Jack stared at Ianto. He had a feeling he knew the answer, but he didn't know if Ianto would admit to it.

"Honestly? I was upset. Owen had been hounding me about going out with him. I had hoped you would want to see me last night, but you came back and had other plans. It was stupid. I know I don't have the right to get upset. Then the sticker seemed so harmless and I felt happy. It's been so long since I felt happy it even made the idea of going out with Owen sound good. We joked about wearing Sexy to go to the bar so I tried it. I can see how they can be addictive. I had confidence and I felt like I was the kind of man people would desire."

"And you were," Jack said. "Confident, that is," he quickly added. "People always want you. You just don't realize it."

"Well, two women who would have gone home with anyone who bought them a drink isn't exactly my definition of being wanted, but I wouldn't have gone up to them if that thing hadn't made me feel that way."

"Now you know you can so you don't need these," Jack said tapping the box.

"No, I wouldn't have done that if I wasn't under the influence. Casual sex, besides us, isn't me."

Jack sat up in Ianto's chair. He had conflicting emotions and he didn't know what to say to Ianto. Since he didn't know what to say he let his usually quiet Ianto keep talking.

"This morning I thought I was going to have a panic attack. I told myself I needed to calm down and there they were. I flipped through and saw the one marked Calm. It worked until you pushed me off the nice fluffy cloud the sticker put me on."

Jack opened the box of moods and flipped through them.

"At least you picked three of the more harmless ones." Jack laughed. "I'd hate to see what would have happened if you'd put on Love 50 before you went out on the pull."

"Meaningless sex was bad enough," Ianto agreed.

"Still," Jack said leering at Ianto, "I would have liked to see you on Sexy. I bet you were irresistible! I think you're sexy without drugs."

"Apparently you've been using Desperate which gives you the equivalent of beer goggles," Ianto joked.

"I wish I could make you happy or calm or make you feel sexy or at least make you see how hot you are," Jack said reaching for Ianto's hand.

"Those are three things I'm not naturally built for," Ianto said sadly. He squeezed Jack's hand. "It's not something you can fix."

"Maybe, but I could try to not make you unhappy or upset. I could show you how desirable I find you more often."

"I don't think, other than today, you purposely say things to upset me. Don't worry about it," Ianto said smiling.

"You understand I'm going through a phase right now. I just need to get some things out of my system." Ianto nodded.

"I know, Jack." Ianto didn't like to talk about this. He chalked up Jack's mission to bed half of Cardiff after returning from his trip with the Doctor as one of his failures.

"It's important to me that you know that." Jack tugged Ianto's hand and smiled up at him. Jack tried to convey to Ianto what he meant without saying the words. "I know I don't have the right to ask you to wait for me. Just try not to sink to my level." He smiled wider. "It won't be forever."

Ianto's stomach dropped. He wanted to remind Jack that his time was limited. He was living on borrowed time as it was. He hoped Jack remembered they had two different definitions of forever.

Jack jumped up and kissed Ianto's cheek.

"Burn those things then come up and make me a coffee," Jack said before turning to walk away. He made it five steps before Ianto stopped him.

"Jack." Jack pivoted and looked at Ianto expectantly.

Ianto had wanted express his concern to Jack, but the words wouldn't form in his mind. The words that did form reminded him he wasn't in a position to make any demands no matter how gentle on Jack. He settled for being cheeky.

"Do you really think I'm progressing too slowly through the Archives?"

Jack walked back quickly and tilted Ianto's head. He pulled back his collar.

"Hmm…I could have sworn you were wearing Ridiculous 1000!" Jack kissed Ianto's neck. "You've worked miracles down here, Ianto." He cupped one side of Ianto's face and put his other hand on Ianto's sternum. Jack wanted to praise Ianto more, but he knew Ianto would either be embarrassed or not believe him or most likely both. "I have to warn you, though. I think Gwen was serious about having some ideas she wants to run by you."

"Oh good," Ianto said without emotion.

"Don't forget my coffee," Jack said walking away.

Ianto picked up the box of stickers. Box of drugs, he thought. I'll toss these in the incinerator then make sure they were lying about my coffee machine. Ianto looked down at the box again. Making a decision, he walked to a broken filing cabinet. He tipped the cabinet on an angle, the only way to open the drawers, and opened the second drawer from the bottom. He placed the box of Moods in the drawer and closed it. Ianto wasn't the kind of person who could throw happiness away.

* * *

><p>AN: So from the title how many of you thought of the Arlen/Koehler song "Get Happy" and how many thought of the Partridge Family theme song? The sequel would definitely be closer to "Get ready for the judgment day" to "We'll make you happy" although if you stress it as "We'll **_make_** you happy" it does sound a bit ominous! Should there be a sequel? You tell me!


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